Five weeks ago we got a cat. For a couple of nights before we collected him, I didn’t sleep very well as various thoughts were going through my mind. What if he’s aggressive? What if he shreds all our furniture? What if he’s sick everywhere? What if he doesn’t like us? What if he stinks?
Toby’s a 9 year old rescue cat with kidney disease and skin problems who was waiting to be adopted for two years without success. As we brought him into our home and got to know him, and he became comfortable with us, suddenly all the things I’d worried about didn’t matter any more.
I was determined not to become a ‘cat lady’. I didn’t want to go all soft on him. He’s still not allowed in my office or bedroom, but the other evening I did something unexpected. I was heading to my room to read and was just about to latch the door and leave him miaowing on the threshold, when I took pity on him and went back downstairs so that he could curl up on my lap while I read. As I sat there stroking him while he slept, I reflected on what he’s taught me in such a short space of time.
He does sometimes nip, he disturbs Zoom calls, has been sick on the rug multiple times, requires special food for his kidney disease, has scars and missing fur on his face and sometimes he stinks and tries to lick my mouth. But I love him! And why do I love him? Because he’s mine. I want to protect and provide for him. I somehow care less about my rug and more about checking he’s ok when he’s sick. I even quite enjoy fishing his poos out of the cat litter. He’s only a cat, but I love him.
I was thinking that to God, I’m often stinky and diseased. I disobey him by wilfully doing the wrong thing. I hurt other people and myself. I metaphorically puke up and make a mess and spoil things. But that doesn’t repel God. It just makes him want to draw me nearer in his loving arms. It arouses his instinct to protect and provide even more. Because I am his.
As Dane Ortlund says in his book
Gentle and Lowly (Crossway, 2020, P.69): “When we sin, the very heart of Christ is drawn out to us."