There’s a real analogy between emotional pain and physical pain. If there’s something seriously wrong with you physically there’s pain before you have the operation and if you don’t do anything about it it will get worse and worse and make you sicker and sicker. Then you have the operation and you can’t feel it because you’re anaesthetised. And then there’s the pain of recovery. It’s not always easy, but it will get gradually better and better and is leading to healing and wholeness. Eventually all you’re left with is the scar as a reminder that something hurt you and it mattered, and that you’ve overcome it and God has healed you and taught you so much through it.
I had a lot of emotional and spiritual pain that's been building up over the last year or so and last weekend I went to Manchester to do business with God and was determined that nothing would stop me. The Saturday was one of the best days of my life as I repented, brought to God lists of things to forgive others for and then burnt them as an act of letting go. I never thought I’d get here after everything I’ve been through and all the ways I’ve rebelled over the last two years. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Jesus. We’ve done some really significant work together and I do think that this is going to be a complete transformation. I just want to go into my future loving him wholeheartedly and enjoying him in every moment. And that’s what he wants for me too. We’re in it together, forever.
I’m in the post-op recovery pain stage now. I don’t need to be surprised or disappointed that there are sometimes still twinges of pain and it doesn’t have to make me feel hopeless. I am on the mend and God will heal me.